Ready, Set, Be Social

Okay, so being social doesn’t exactly come easy to me. It never has. I have always considered myself as an awkward person and it’s okay, you can think so too. I can remember the easiest speech I ever had to give was in high school. Luckily, my moma is a genius at sewing and she made me this full on pilgrim type costume equipped with a bonnet. The bonnet covered most of my face and made standing up in front of a room full of classmates so much easier. It also hid my red face! That’s another downfall-I am extremely light skinned with red hair, so the least little thing makes my cheeks quite rosy. It’s so embarrassing…Anyways, I realized tonight just how panicked I get at the thought of being in front of a crowd. We had a Dirty Santa party for the ladies at my church and the closer it got to my name being called the more nervous I got. UGH, this makes me feel stupid. I am 28 years old and I am nervous about going to pick out a gift or “steal” from somebody else. But that’s who I am, I don’t know if I will ever grow out of it. I sure hope so because I am sure that the new career we are about to embark on will require me to have thick skin and the ability to be a social bug.

I am slowly getting better at the social bug thing…I have pretty much lived in my little hermit shell for the past 5.5 years until the last 4-5 months. I have done a lot better. I just hope I am not one of those people that everybody thinks is stuck up. You I know I am guilty of thinking that somebody is stuck up because they don’t ever speak, when they are probably insanely shy. I never have the right things to say and always end up making a blooming idiot out of myself, so I avoid eye contact and conversation if at all possible. I lack confidence and I have a low self-esteem, which I think contributes to all of this. I have been at my job for 9 years, so I have gotten to know pretty much all of our clientele, I am comfortable with the majority of them and so I am pretty social and can “shoot the bull” all day long with them. You get me in any other situation and I am clumsy with my words and actions.

Kind of a crazy blog, but I just got to thinking about that on my way home. I am going to be a preacher’s wife, I have no choice but to be social….I better get use to it!!! It will all be fine- As Jeremy keeps repeating from Brandon Britton, do something that scares you the most…well we are doing it!!! ;-) Luckily we have some great friends helping us along the way! God Bless!