30 Things in 30 Years

It is weird to be posting for the first time in a long time. Time does not permit posting as often as I would like. I have thought about this one in particular for the last several months as my 30th birthday loomed ahead of me. And now it has zipped on past and moving on to the next one.  I love birthdays, I always have. I guess the reason is pretty selfish and I am sad to admit that. But I don't like just my birthday. I want birthdays to be special. I have always TRIED to make them special for Jeremy. And it's just fun-the celebrating, getting to pick your favorite place to eat, doing your favorite thing for the day. There is just something special about that day. This birthday just happens to be an epic one in my mind. Come on, it's the 30th birthday. I am no longer in my youthful 20s. And because I was sad about it, doesn't mean I am not thankful to our God in heaven for allowing me to see another birthday. Just some things are more emotional to deal with than others. I don't how many people told me I should just be thankful. I hope God knew how thankful I was/am. So my blog is:

30 THINGS IN 30 YEARS-While it may be something I have learned, things that happened, etc. It's my blog and my brain works at random things. I may go into detail and then I may make it short and sweet. So here goes...

1.) I have not always been a faithful follower of our God Almighty. And after spending 1.5 years at the Memphis School of Preaching, I realized that my "faithful Christian" life left a lot to be desired. I never realized I was lacking so much. I still find it hard to say that I am living faithfully now because I feel like God deserves so much more than I am giving. But I will keep striving and Heaven will surely be worth it all.
2.) Being a Christian is only as hard as you make it. There are many different viewpoints in this world of what Christianity should be defined as. Which is so sad because according to the Sciptures(please read)...
"There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all." (Ephesians 4:4-6 KJV)
We should ALL be in unity of God's Word. I gave up a worldly life to pursue a life being a follower of God. Only within the last year or so, have I learned to be a servant. There are so many things of this world that we can particpate in that was not created by God. Drugs, alcohol, immorality...Man created these things because it's what makes man feel good. It's because, we as people, are selfish and we want what makes us happy and we forget that while we are trying to please ourselves, we are not pleasing God. One of my favorite Bible passages reads,
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:1, 2 KJV)
Jesus was Holy, Pure, Without Blemish...He never did any wrong. We are suppose to follow His example according to the following "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. "(Philippians 2:5-8 KJV) No, we aren't going to be perfect and we will still stumble in the light but we must push forward and keep striving for a home in Heaven. Don't conform yourself to wordly lusts, conform yourselves to the will of God. It will be worth it!
3.) Getting down on your knees to pray will humble you and change your life. It did mine. I say this even though I have only done it once, for sure, and I think twice. That first time reigns in my mind. Grab a box of tissues and get down there!
4.) I have one very amazing husband who decided two years ago to devote himself to God and teaching his Word and he gets excited about it. He is my spiritual leader and I am so thankful for that because I need it. He is humble. He is funny. He makes me smile. He is smart. He has a good memory. He has a wealth of random information that sometimes I wonder where it came from. He never gives himself enough credit for the good in him. He loves me for me when I am crazy silly, when I am emotional and when I am mean. He loves me. All of me. And I love all of him. He is my best friend.
5.) As much as Jeremy loves me and I love him, God loves us more!
6.) Life never really goes as planned. "Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape." (NOT FROM THE BIBLE)
7.) You don't have to live in the same town as your best friends to still be best friends. One of my very best friends now lives in Africa and I still talk to her everyday.
8.) You don't have talk to your best friend everyday to still be best friends. Life gets in the way and we get busy but the times we do get to talk our wonderful and very appreciated and needed far more than either one of us know.
9.) Friends are wonderful whether they be best friends, close friends or friends. They make your world a happier place.
10.) I just learned today that judgment is not spelled judgement and I considered myself a decent speller. That rocked my world and made it more difficult to type that word after that.
11.) Jeremy and I use to think we were busy before we moved to Memphis and he began his studies at MSOP. That word has been completely redefined to us.
12.) I can function on less sleep than I ever knew was possible. I also know that it is not a good thing and can cause some health problems.
13.) I am awkward. When I am uncomfortable or talking with some that I am not use to being around or do feel comfortable with, I will mess up my words. Any intelligence, that thought I MIGHT have, is gone and I sound like a blubbering idiot. Yes, I said blubbering.
14.) I talk funny(well it is for some). I didn't realize how country I was until we moved to Memphis and I was around people who spoke correctly and some northerners. I like my country talk even if I am not your typical country girl who hunts, fishes and goes muddin'.
15.) I have a hard time hiding my feelings.
16.) On my birthday, since I have been older, I have wondered what my birth mother was thinking that day or if she reflected on that year and how many years it had been since she had given birth to me. That is what she did she gave birth to me and to be quite honest, that's all she did. She passed away two years ago and although I had been given the opportunity to meet with her and ask her questions, I was so nervous that day that I don't remember many of those answers and wished so badly that I had written them down. And this year, I couldn't help but think how she would have felt knowing she gave birth to a baby girl 30 years ago and how that made her feel. But on the flip side of that, she and my birth father gave me the biggest gift even if the gift wasn't well intended by one or both of them(I will never know for sure). They gave me a new home, a new life and new parents. Parents that through the toughest times both financially and health wise cared for me and loved me. They have always believed in me and have always pushed me to do the things that I didn't have the confidence to do. They supported me at every ballgame, through every report card and every graduation with hugs and I love you's. So on my 30th, I thought about them. I have no idea what it was like for my birth parents to turn their parental rights over and I have no idea what it was like for my parents, after raising children already, to take on a toddler full time. Either way, I am grateful for them all and grateful to God for placing them in my life and the way it all turned out. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for that.
17.) Learn to love yourself. And I don't mean in that cocky, arrogant, I am the greatest there is way. I mean learn that you have self worth. YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING!!! Even if you feel like you have no one, you always have God and God loves you. He may not always approve of the things that we do or the lifestyle that we live but He does love you, so love yourself. Know that you have worth and appreciate what you have been given.
18.) "If we don't stand for something, we will fall for anything." If we don't ground ourselves in the Word of God and use that as our guiding light in life, we will fall. Flat on our faces. I know not everyone in this world agrees with that, but I believe that wholeheartedly. Stand for God. Don't back down. Don't be ashamed.
19.) You really do start like more types of food as you get older. Several months ago, I tried chicken pot pie. That was pretty big deal for me, but it was yummy. I still can't eat seafood. I have tried to like shrimp and it ain't happening. Jeremy keeps pushing me to eat chicken livers and gizzards-no, thank you. But other than a few odd things, I am growing to like more veggies. My veggies use to be potatoes and mac and cheese.
20.) Marriage isn't always easy. And for those who want to run and talk about that...feel free. I am being truthful. I don't know if any married couple has ever went thru their marriage without one single fight no matter how big or small. Just because I say that, it doesn't mean that we have a terrible marriage so please read that again if you need to. I think we have a good marriage and I think Jeremy would agree with that. That doesn't mean we have not had our ups and down and sideways and all overs but we love each other and made a commitment to stay put and work it out. On our wedding day, we promised God that we would. Now, I don't remember much of that, but I do know we said it. It's a slow learning process to pick my battles. I can be difficult at times. And I have the most patient husband. He is way more than I deserve. It's amazing the changes that take place thru the years, the things that use to bother me no longer bother me, things that didn't bother me now do. It's just funny. But marriage is awesome and fun. Jeremy makes me laugh every single day. Always put God first in your life in general and in your married life. It changes you. You desire to try harder in every way if you are putting God first like you are commanded and not how you think you should.
21.) A little bit of kindness goes a long way. It certainly never hurts to smile at every one you meet, nod your head or say how are you? And don't always assume someone is lazy and hates their job when they are the nicest to you. They could have had the worst week ever. We don't know other people's trials.
22.) Your family will always be your family no matter how far away you are or how much you have changed. You may not always see eye to eye but you do always love each other.
23.) We really can live without TV. One of my very best friends hasn't had cable/satellite-don't hold me to this-but I don't think since they were married....9 years ago. I thought that was the craziest thing in the world and how could I ever possibly live without it. Then they came out with DVR and that made my world an even better place. If two of my favorite shows were on at the same time, no problem, just record one. THEN, we moved to Memphis and I didn't work for several months and I still would watch TV some. I would iron or fold clothes and watch it while I did that or in the mornings. Jeremy rarely watched it from the beginning. Then I started working and full time MSOP life hit and you realize that there is hardly any time for it. Once you get use to not having it, you realize you can live without it. That is not to say that we don't ever watch it because it doesoccasionally get watched. Hulu or Netflix is what we usually use though and of course Redbox if we have free time to watch a movie. They are usually reserved for weekend treats for date nights at home.
24.) I miss home a lot more than I thought I would. I was so sad leaving it. Leaving a job I loved with people I loved working with, leaving my family and just everyday simple things. We both transitioned really well and love living here, but we love when we get to go home and visit. I have no idea where we will end up after school but maybe it won't be too far away.
25.) I am complicated. I am a thinker and it gets me trouble. I have a crazy imagination even at 30. I am a worrier. I have gray hair and I know it's from over-stressing and worrying.
26.) I have learned that things don't always go as planned. I was going to be married at 20, first child at 22....I was married at 22 and 7+ years later....still no children. Definitely not what we planned. But it is what it is. The longer time has gone by, the easier it has been to deal with it(for me). There is still those days that everybody has announced their pregnancy on facebook or they just found out what they were having or they just delivered and those are the days that I want to sit with a big tub of ice cream and a box of Kleenex. But the majority of the time, we survive and hope that one day we can adopt.
27.) A dishwasher really is a wife's best friend.
28.) Have you ever said these words..."I just LOVE that author." Have you ever wondered why you don't study your bible on a regular basis and take to heart what is in it? You don't love the author. I didn't realize that I didn't love the author until Brother Keith Mosher gave us a wonderful illustration about reading the letters his wife sent him while he was in the military. He said he read them all the time because he loved the author. How much do you love God? How much do you study your Bible?
I am working on being better about that.
29.) Never ever ever take your preacher, parents, friends, insert anyone else's words about the Bible as truth. NEVER!!! STUDY YOUR BIBLE AND FIND OUT FOR YOURSELVES. God gave us the Scriptures for us to live our lives by. Study them. Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV)
30.) 30 really hasn't been as bad as I thought it would. Hopefully my next 30 years will be just as good!

And as a side note...my grammar and punctuation is terrible. English was never my best subject. So don't judge me. :)

Respect

According to Webster's Dictionary, RESPECT is defined as "to consider worthy of high regard." But RESPECT has so much more built into the meaning of it. Although, some may disagree, I think the meaning stems from the beginning of time and with Biblical standards. We are suppose to be taught early in childhood on how to respect. You are to respect things and most importantly people. You don't break things- "you break it, you buy." You don't steal-"you can go to jail." You say "yes m'am" and "no m'am" when someone asks you something or tells you something to do. You refer to people as Mr. & Mrs. if need be. Or even for us at school, we refer to people as Brother or Sister(insert name here.) Who cares if you want to do it or not, it's respectful. It's a teaching tool that SHOULD begin at a very early age. But even if you are never taught this, it doesn't take much effort to look around and see what other people do. I see people who are disrecptful to other people or things and think to myself that is the opposite of what I want to be or what I want to do. I see people post their rants on Facebook all the time. I try very hard not to do that. That doesn't mean I don't rant. My husband and my closest friends know my rants. But I TRY(keyword here) to stay positive and upbeat. But most importantly I try to respect people. There are so many things that you can do to respect people other than saying "yes m'am" or "no m'am" or "yes sir" or "no sir." It's about being kind. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I would LOVE nothing more than to tell somebody off. But what good does that do anybody? Philippians 2:14-15 says, "Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blamemless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world." Which leads into Matthew 5:16, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good words and glorify your Father which is in Heaven." Is our light glowing bright and beautiful or is it dark and dim? As Christians, we are suppose to have an effect on those around us but if our light isn't what it is suppose to be, how can we expect to share God's word to others. If you have a negative and ugly attitude, what are you teaching others? Why would we want to teach others to have that type of attitude and how can we expect others to even want to be around us? Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." We all come from different backgrounds and as you get older and you starting growing into yourself, we have tendencies that stem from what we grew up with. Everything you do is a learned behavior. Whether you learned it from you parents, teachers, preachers, friends or family. Or whether you learn it on your own by reading the scriptures. We are the ONLY ones that have the power to change ourselves because we control our willpower. And we can learn to RESPECT those around us and respect ourselves. So if you have learned nothing else from this, then learn this, Romans 12:21, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Evil isn't necessarily a "bad" person that kills or steals. Evil can come from ourselves with our words and our actions. Let your light shine. Live your life to glorify God. Do your words and actions glorify God? And as I sit here and type that, I ask myself that same question.

He loves, he loves me...always

I don't brag on my husband near as often as I should and something that has been on my mind more lately is that I definitely don't brag on him as much as I use to. We are coming up on 7 years of marriage and it doesn't even seem possible. It almost makes me sad to think about where the time went, but the positive side is that we have a whole future to look forward to. I know, 7 years of marriage is not as much experience as some of you may have, but it is also more than others have. Either way, you learn more and more each passing day when you are married. And one day you wake up and there is this comfortableness that has set in. And I don't necessarily mean in a good way but it's not all bad either. You just don't "try" as hard as you use to and you take each other for granted more. This may or may not happen to everyone, I am telling this from our own personal experiences. I think part of the reason that we take each other for granted is that we don't reflect on the reasons we fell in love to begin with or what about the other person makes us happy. So I am devoting this blog to telling you about my awesome and amazing husband. 1.) He is my very best friend on this earth. There is absolutely no one else that could take on this roll like he does. 2.) He does not judge me. 3.) He gives the best advice and always knows just what to say. 4.) He is smart. I tell him this all the time and he shrugs me off, because, his whole life he has never considered himself to be smart. But he is far more than he or anyone else gives him credit for. 5.) He made a decision almost two years ago to serve God with everything he had. This entailed him deciding to go to preaching school to become a full time minister. He has met scrutiny along the way and those who don't agree with him or think he has changed for the "worse." But truly, he has changed for the better. He has become such an amazing man since he made the decision. He has grown in God's Word and he has grown as a Christian. I see it everyday and he makes me so proud to call him my husband. The life of a preacher's family is definitely not an easy one but I commend him for wanting to do it. 6.) I am not skinny and he loves me anyway. 7.) He endures my craziness. 8.) He is a little silly himself. 9.) He makes me laugh everyday and it always comes at the perfect time. 10.) He KNOWS me. And I don't mean he knows me because we have known each other for 8 years. It's scary how well he knows me and knows what I am going to say before I say it. Just ask Shannon-sometimes it is just plain creepy. But I love it. 11.) He sings good. 12.) He tells he loves me-ALOT! 13.) His taste in music and how much music means to him. Although, I am not as much of a music lover as he is, I admire his love for it and how different every song that he chooses is but how they are always great. 14.) I love the fact that after almost 7 years of marriage, when he is driving, he opens my door for me. And he doesn't like it when I open it myself. 15.) He gives the best hugs. 16.) He is patient on so many levels and not with just me. 17.) His love for souls. 18.) There have been tough times but he NEVER gives up. 19.) He is devoted- to God, to me, to school studies. It's 11:35 and he walked in the door about 10 minutes ago. He stayed here and did some work and then ate supper and then went to the library and did some more studying. 20.) He is a good role model. 21.) He treats other with kindness. 22.) His respect for his parents. That was something I was always amazed at, when others would talk down to their parents, he has always always respected his. And not just his parents but his grandparents too. 23.) I love his preaching. I think he does a great job at it and he really puts his heart and soul into it when he does it. 24.) For the fact that my silly little blogs make him so happy. When he found out I was blogging tonight(but didn't know it was about him), he got excited and said he loved it when I blogged. 25.) He is my biggest fan. 26.) I am his biggest fan. 27.) His love for our dog. There are few people who understand our love for our dog. We have, so far, not been able to have children and we may not ever be able to biologically, but we do have our "furbaby." And no matter how moody or grouchy that dog is, he is our baby. And he is a daddy's baby. If I think about it too much, it makes me cry(as I am now) for several reasons. One being, I think it is sweet how attached he is to our Bone Bone, but two because I would give so much to have his child. 28.) He has the most beautiful eyes. 29.) Because he wipes my tears away. 30.) And I am going to end here because he has school tomorrow and I have to work, but this is definitely not all the reasons. But I will say this-he loves me for me. Through moodiness, through my terrible cooking days, through infertility, through weight changes and hair changes, he still loves me unconditionally. God made him just for me and of that I am very much convinced and do not thank God enough for allowing our paths to cross. I hope this helps me and I hope it helps you. Maybe it will make you reflect on your marriage and the positive things. Everyone is going to have rough patches, it is part of it. You will be more thankful for the better days. Love to you all!!

Whoa-It's an update

It feels weird doing this because it's been forever since I have posted anything. I must admit though, several of the people here have been posting their blogs lately and it's inspired me to try and do mine more often than I have been. I am not even sure what the last update was. We have been here for 7 months now and it has really flown by. It makes me sad to think about it. A year ago this week, Jeremy preached his first sermon when we began raising our support to come here. And now, we are here and just a few short months away from completing our first year. I don't know if it is or isn't what I expected. I don't have much time to really think about it. I do know that it is by far, one of the greatest decisions that we have ever made. It is amazing being here. We have our own little community and we are one big family. There are tons of personalities and different types of people but it is only the beginning of what we will be doing when we graduate and find our church home. Jeremy stays busy as well with all his classes. This quarter especially is going to be hectic for him and me as well. Our MSOP lectureship is coming up at the end of March thru the first of April, we wrap that up and head out on a school trip. I have been working just about full time for the past several months helping out at the school. I enjoy that. I fess up to missing being a house wife though. Jeremy misses it too, he misses having a spotless house.
We have a church that we work with in Looxahoma, Mississippi. That is has been a tremendous blessing to us as well and they treat us like we are one of them and just about every Sunday, we get fed a home cooked meal.
On a yucky note, I had my purse stolen a couple of weeks ago. I don't wish that upon no one. Yeah, you can get cards replaced and new bank account and a new drivers license but, it is REALLY creepy to know that someone knows you that doesn't really know you. They know where I live, my drivers license number, my SSN and probably things I don't even realize. Thankfully, they haven't tried to use any of the cards or wrote any checks on the accounts, which to me is very strange. Jeremy seems to think they were only looking for cash. They didn't get lucky, I had $4 and some change in there. They messed the lock up on my door and busted around the door and scratched the door closest to it. I am going to have to have it fixed because they stripped my lock out. Aside from all the big stuff, they stole my favorite wallet and my very first pocket knife that I have ever owned. Ronny(my boss from Shelter), has always bought pocket knives so before I left, I told him I wanted one. He bought me a pink camo Case knife and I loved that thing. It was in the front pocket of my purse, I kept it with me pretty much all the time. :( Although, at times, I get mad at about it. I keep thinking that there is a big possibility, that they have never known any different. No one has ever really taught them that they shouldn't do things like that. So I have prayed for them on several occasions. Another student was with us when it happened and we had several of his school papers in the car that the thief obviously messed with and I wonder if they happened to read any of it and if it made them think. Who knows?!? I do know one thing, I am more cautious than before. It makes me think twice about putting my purse in the trunk of my car.
Anywho, I guess that is enough boredom for now.

I will leave  you with this-"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2 KJV)
Just because everyone else makes that drink or that drug look okay and just because society makes it appear okay to do the "worldly" things that gets throw in our face on TV and every where we go, does not mean that you have to go along with them or "conform." Be different. Be what God wants you to be. Be acceptable to God in every aspect of your life. Salvation will not come to everyone. That is why there is a Heaven and a Hell. Doesn't God deserve our best? If so, then why do we give him our least? I say that to myself as much as I do to anyone else. I feel like a failure at this everyday, but God still loves me. But as much as God loves me, I do know if I fail in my Christian life,  I will not have my reward in the end.

Love you all!!!